Monday, December 24, 2018

Meaning of life


Why I think doing what you love/want to do is important?
I have always thought that doing what you have to do is important in life. This is also what my Asian parents taught too. This is because this approach works in their generation where competition is lesser and survival is crucial. Overall, this approach is viable for their generation. I tried to do the same as taught. For example, IT Engineering
Overtime, I started to feel very tired with bruises physically and mentally. It feels like the whole torturing process is never-ending and you start to wonder what is the meaning of life. Why haven’t my parents thought of this? Probably because they are still surviving with their same approach. I guess I was pretty depressed with this kind of approach towards life.
Throughout the journey of seeking meaning of life, I have tried exploring various activities and failed in every attempt. I also stumped upon philosophical ideas of guru especially from India, interviews of well-known investors ie Warren Buffet etc, books of well-known entrepreneurs ie Tony Fernandez, Steve Job. I learnt and realized that I have to do what I love/want to do to live a fulfilling life. I also discovered that doing what you love to do has the following advantages:

a)    Persistence
Doing what you love/want to do gives you positive energy constantly whenever you are engaged in the activity. This indirectly makes you more persistent and you will never give up in whatever you are doing. If you are doing things which is not in line in your interest, it tends to drain your energy, and you will be soon out of the game before you know it.

b) Stay competitive
When you stay long enough in the game and keep improving yourself; and you never give up, you can beat competition easily. When you become the best in whatever you are doing, money will flow in like water because of the substantial value that you can offer. In other words, doing what you love/want to do gives you a competitive edge over others in being persistent. This works under the assumption that you keep improving yourself.

c)Fulfilling life
Doing what you love/want to do makes you feel fulfilled at the end of the day despite the fact that you might fail or you failed. For example, you might not be talented in what you love to do, hence, you might not be able to provide value that can be converted into substantial monetary rewards.
This idea started as a seed, when I had the opportunity to watch Ray Dalio’s animation and read about Ikigai, it further reinforced the seed and the need to do something in my life to execute the idea to let it bloom into a flower.

If you have an idea/vision/goal that kept coming back to haunt you no matter how long the time has passed, it will be wise to invest some time to think about it, do some research and take small actions step by step to achieve your idea/vision/goal. That is what I intend to do in 2019.

x

Friday, September 12, 2014

Doing What U LOVE is the best TEACHER!

Read an article which totally reflects my sentiments. It prompts me to write and share what I truly believe in.

1. "Doing what you are passionate about" is the best teacher in my life. I learn a lot of things which I cannot get from school from playing badminton. There are motivational quotes everywhere, but only those who truly experience can understand and feel the impact. I started playing badminton since 2010. I was playing almost everyday to improve and play better games. However, I stopped in 2012 as I felt I have reached the plateau, I gave up. Often times, I get constant frustration as I cannot improve and acquire the technique to play more skilfully no matter how hard I tried. In end of 2013, I went back to badminton out of friend's invitation. My passion was rekindled and suddenly I realized, I cant expect change overnight when I have been using the wrong techniques since 2010. It is hard to change from one technique which you have been using for two years to another new technique which is correct. It takes time. Now I am getting better with constant practice and validation through viewing videos featuring professional's strokes. It taught me how to never give up. Learning is a journey. Achieveing goal is a journey whereby there will be obstacles/distractions along the way to slow you down, but if you never give up in moving towards the goal and the right directions, you will get there eventually. Even if you do not get there, you will get to somewhere close to your goal. And doing what you love will give u the positive emotion and energy to overcome the negative emotion you get from obstacles and distractions. That makes the effort more sustainable.

Enjoy the journey to your goal, as it takes time and patience. The end result is important but enjoying the journey is more important as it will gives you energy to make it more sustainable.

2. Talking about distraction, there are just too many distractions in our life nowadays. It can be phone, TV, talks, seminars, internet browsing, etc. Whatever that doesnt lead me to my goal is a distraction. I will stay away from it as I have limited resources ie time and money. Stay focus!

3. No one really give a fuck about you, you are merely flashes that crosses someone's mind that can last few seconds, after that few seconds, everyone will be back to their life and forget everything about u. People like to comment or say something on whatever that they see, for whether it is normal or abnormal as perceived by the society. To make life more interesting, good people will try to make sense and understand, some of them will tease, make fun just to take the monotonous pace out of their life. So why should you care about what others think? Do what you love and pursue your happiness! Doing what you love will give you positive feeling and energy on a daily basis, tremendous positive impact on your life over time. Stick to like minded people to give you positive energy, stay away from people who affects you negatively.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. ~ Steve Jobs

4. When you are extremely stressed, you do not have mindset for anything including kiss. Beware of your demeaner and behaviour, keep your partner's emotion in check or find a partner with strong empathy quality. Trust me, I have been there. I got so stressed that any complaints from my partner, I will save it in my emotional bank till I get a huge pile of debts(negative emotion) that is ready to explode anytime.

5. Being an entrepreneur sounds cool, but the word carries weight that you can never imagine especially when you do not have any experience or mentor. I have tried many things and failed many times over. Ultimately, I realized I have to do what I love. If I do what I love, everyday is a happy day no matter how tough the journey is.

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself-so always think positively. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

I love you, badminton.

Sunday, April 13, 2014


1. What are you really thinking about today?

“As you think, so shall you become.”

Perhaps the most basic statement of how we work. Think about what you are thinking today. What do those thoughts say about you? About your life? And how well do they really match your plans for your life and your image of yourself?

It’s easy to forget about this simple statement in everyday life. It’s easy to be quite incongruent with what you think on an ordinary day compared to how you view yourself and your goals. A simple external reminder such as a post-it with this quote can be helpful to keep you and your thoughts on the right track. An brilliant and beautiful expansion on this thought can be found in James Allen’s As a man thinketh (that can be downloaded for free here).

2. Simplify.

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

If you want to improve your life then it’s tempting to want to add more. One problem with this may be that you don’t really have the time or energy to do more though. And so your efforts to improve become short-lived.

Adding more and more just creates more stress and anxiety. Removing clutter and activities, tasks and thoughts that are not so important frees up time and energy for you to do more of what you really want to do. And as the clutter in your outer world decreases the clutter in your inner world also has a tendency to decrease. This has the added benefit of making it easier to actually enjoy whatever you are doing even more while you are doing it.

Adding more thoughts and thinking things over for the 111:th time may create a sense of security. It’s also a good way to procrastinate and to avoid taking that leap you know you should take. And the more you think, the harder it gets to act. Perhaps because you want to keep that comforting sense of security and avoid the risk of wrecking that feeling.

Thinking has its place. It can help you plan a somewhat realistic route to your goal and help you avoid future pitfalls. Overthinking is however just a habit that will help you waste a lot of time. It’s more useful to replace that habit with the habit of just doing it.

3. Learn about yourself in interactions.

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.”

The one person that is the hardest to get to really know may be yourself. Studying yourself while you are alone may result in some insights. But it’s also likely to produce a lot of made up thought loops and doubts in your mind. A good way to really learn more about yourself is study yourself in interactions with other people. How people react and act in these interaction can over time teach you a lot. And what you think and how you react can perhaps teach you even more.

What you see, feel and hear in other people may be a reflection of you. The things you learn by thinking this way may not always be pleasant, but they can be enlightening. They help you to see yourself and also how you may be fooling yourself. And these powerful insights can be very valuable for your personal growth. So, in interactions with others, try asking yourself: what is reflected?

4. Do not divide.

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.”

This is a very useful and powerful thought. It is also one that obviously is hard to live by. Why? I believe it’s because the ego loves to divide and find ways to “add more” to itself. It want’s to feel better than someone else. Or more clever. Or prettier. Or cooler. Or wiser.

How can you overcome this way of thinking and feeling?

To me it seems to boil down to not identifying so much with your thoughts or feelings. That doesn’t mean that you stop thinking or feeling. It just means that you realize – and remember in your everyday life – that the thoughts and emotions are just things flowing through you.

You are not them though.

You are the consciousness observing them.

When you realize and remember this it enables you to control the thoughts and feelings instead of the other way around. It also enables you to not take your thoughts too seriously and actually laugh at them or ignore them when you feel that your ego is acting out. When you are not being so identified these things you become more inclined to include things, thoughts and people instead of excluding them. This creates a lot of inner and outer freedom and stillness. Instead of fear, a need to divide your world and a search for conflicts.

To learn more about this I would recommend Eckhart Tolle’s books and signing up for the 10 free and excellent webcasts – available both in video and audio form – that he’s doing with Oprah right now.

5. Avoid a dependency on validation from others.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

“Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.”

The ego wants to add because it thinks it’s not enough. One way of doing that is by craving validation from others. We want to feel smart, pretty, successful and so on. And the validation makes you feel good for a while. But soon you need a new fix.

And the problem with being dependent on validation from other people is that you let other people control how you feel. This creates a rollercoaster of emotion in your life.

To find more emotional stability and to take control of how you feel you need to get your validation from to a more consistent source. Yourself. You can replace the expectations and validation of others by setting your own expectations and by validating yourself.

And so you validate yourself by thinking about how awesome you are. You don’t sell yourself short. You appreciate how far you have come and the positive things you have done. You appreciate your own value in the world. You set goals and you achieve those goals. This builds confidence in yourself and in your abilities. These things will help you to build a habit of inner validation.

Now, showing off. Why do we do that? To get validation from others. However, this need for validation often shines through and that is why a thing like bragging seldom works. Instead of seeing the cool and successful person you are trying to project people just see the insecure and needy person looking for validation. And your bragging falls flat.

6. Be proactive.

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”

It’s easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what the people around you do. You react to whatever is going on.

And so you get lost in your circumstances. This way of thinking doesn’t feel too good. You tend to feel powerless and like you are just drifting along.

A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. As Bruce says: to create opportunities despite the circumstances around you. This feels better and provides better results. But on the other hand it’s also more difficult. It’s easier to just drift along in the reactive stream of life. And if you want to be proactive then you may have to take the lead quite often. And that can be scary.

Still, living proactively is so much more rewarding and exciting.

7. Be you.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

Just being yourself is a hard thing to do. You may do it sometimes. And other times you may forget or fall back into old thought patterns. Or you may imitate someone else.

And that comes through too. And it may work.

But I believe that being the real you will work better. Because there the genuine you is shining through. Without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness. It’s you to 100%. It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication – on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication.

So I’m not saying: “yeah man, you should just be yourself because it’s the right thing to do etc.” I’m saying that I think being your authentic self – the one where you do little dividing, the one that needs little validation from others, the one where your ego is not running the show and trying to get something from someone – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people really like genuine and people really like authenticity.

 

 This was exactly what Professor Yip meant by being detached — not being without emotion or feeling, but being one in whom feeling was not sticky or blocked. Therefore in order to control myself I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.                      

For Bruce all knowledge led to self-knowledge. 

 

"When you're faced with looking at your own life with awakened eyes, you will have increased a bit in the knowledge of yourself and knowledge of anything outside of yourself is only superficial and very shallow. To put it another way, self-knowledge has a liberating quality."

"My majoring in philosophy was closely related to the pugnacity of my childhood. I often asked myself these questions: What comes after victory? Why do people value victory so much? What is 'glory'? What kind of 'victory' is 'glorious'?"

"When I look around, I always learn something, and that is to always be yourself, express yourself, to have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate him. They always copy mannerism; they never start from the root of their being: that is, how can I be me?"

"To me, all types of knowledge ultimately means self-knowledge."

"Like everyone else, you want to learn the way to win, but never to accept the way to lose. To accept defeat--to learn to die--is to be liberated from it. Once you accept, you are free to flow and harmonize. Fluidity is the way to an empty mind. So when tomorrow comes, you must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying."

I am learning to understand rather than to immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self knowledge has transcended that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and i  am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, everyday there could be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of past misfortune. It has added more to the bank of fortitude.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Feels like it's a never-ending fight with life. If there is no purpose in life, how do we live? I am slipping into a blackhole.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Time, don't steal my youth away!

I cant sleep at night. Overwhelmed by mixed emotions. Resonate with the woman's feeling in the movie. Women like me are tiresome in love.  Expect too much. Fighting to protect certain love philosophy and nobility which costs me my youth.  Here I am stealing other's youth. Well, trying hard to find perfect match in chemistry but can only imagine it through watching Tango unfortunately. What a shame! I cant fight reality, can I?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Final blog: Have I learnt anything?

I have mentioned in the first blog that this module can train me to communicate confidently in front of public. Definitely, through this course I have gotten a grip on how to present as a lot of ways after examples have been shown through relevant websites and stories. I have also realized that comics or pictures that are not professional are not advisable to be included into presentation. It is best to engage audience in your presentation too as it will encourage them to think and understand your presentation. In addition to this, it is important to narrate and create a logical flow to guide audience. As a result, if the audience nods from time to time, it signifies that you have done a good job in presenting.

This module has taught me how to foster interpersonal relationship which includes persuasive communication and emotional intelligence too. I believe having good emotional intelligence will enhance skills in persuasive communication. Hence, through this course, it has improved my persuasive communication in one way or another. It has motivated me to identify, understand and manage my feeling so as to communicate with anyone efficiently. Furthermore, it has emphasized on resolving conflicts, building relationship, and establishing consensus which I find very useful in my context.
For those who are interested, check out a famous book on persuasive communication entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This website summarizes the book.
http://www.bizsum.com/articles/art_how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.php

For me, the most interesting part about this module is the topics on intercultural communication. I did not know there were so many restrictions, taboos or gestures which portrayed different meanings in other countries. This certainly has enlightened me that first step to avoid miscommunication is to do a research online on the culture of people we will communicate.

Another interesting part about this module is blogging. Blogging is a creative approach to allow students to interact. Through blogging, I am able to have a deeper understanding of my classmates without physical interaction. Sometimes, content in blog prompts me to get to know classmates in class.

Another thing that has been inculcated beyond my expectation is writing skills. These writing skills include resume and cover letter preparation, agenda and minute formulation, and professional survey report formation. It is also undeniable that this module has taught and reminded us the importance of tenses, sentence structure and 7Cs which are important in writing.

Overall, through this module, I have definitely learnt various skills.

Final blog: Have I learnt anything?

I have mentioned in the first blog that this module can train me to communicate confidently in front of public. Definitely, through this course I have gotten a grip on how to present as a lot of ways after examples have been shown through relevant websites and stories. I have also realized that comics or pictures that are not professional are not advisable to be included into presentation. It is best to engage audience in your presentation too as it will encourage them to think and understand your presentation. In addition to this, it is important to narrate and create a logical flow to guide audience. As a result, if the audience nods from time to time, it signifies that you have done a good job in presenting.

This module has taught me how to foster interpersonal relationship which includes persuasive communication and emotional intelligence too. I believe having good emotional intelligence will enhance skills in persuasive communication. Hence, through this course, it has improved my persuasive communication in one way or another. It has motivated me to identify, understand and manage my feeling so as to communicate with anyone efficiently. Furthermore, it has emphasized on resolving conflicts, building relationship, and establishing consensus which I find very useful in my context.
For those who are interested, check out a famous book on persuasive communication entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This website summarizes the book.
http://www.bizsum.com/articles/art_how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.php

For me, the most interesting part about this module is the topics on intercultural communication. I did not know there were so many restrictions, taboos or gestures which portrayed different meanings in other countries. This certainly has enlightened me that first step to avoid miscommunication is to do a research online on the culture of people we will communicate.

Another interesting part about this module is blogging. Blogging is a creative approach to allow students to interact. Through blogging, I am able to have a deeper understanding of my classmates without physical interaction. Sometimes, content in blog prompts me to get to know classmates in class.

Another thing that has been inculcated beyond my expectation is writing skills. These writing skills include resume and cover letter preparation, agenda and minute formulation, and professional survey report formation. It is also undeniable that this module has taught and reminded us the importance of tenses, sentence structure and 7Cs which are important in writing.

Overall, through this module, I have definitely learnt various skills.